Saturday, 18 May 2013


"Homecoming? Isn't that the ending of a story? In this case not. It is the beginning. It is my beginning.
Let me introduce myself. My name is Midnight. According to the RSPCA members I am "the one that goes 'bump' in the night and I'll pounce on your toes." And that's about right.
So, here I am, a black kitten, 8 weeks old, with a black and white brother. We are at the RSPCA in a little tent made of netting. Little kids poke their fingers at me, and when I pounce, they cry.
Sometimes they dangle fake fish in front of me, and this time when I pounce they seem to be pleased. Very strange.... Rather inconsistent, is it not? Do you want me to pounce, or not?

There is a couple standing in my vicinity. They look very close and very much in love. She's tall and elegant. He's small, but interesting (let's not dwell on the absence of elegance). They both look like cat people. No child....You know, it might be Them...The ones I'm going Home with. 

They are talking to Sam, one of the RSPCA members. She's asking what type of cat they want. "Well," he explained, "in my experience it's the cat that chooses us, not us choosing the cat." "Indeed it is" I meeuwe (too young to reach the miaow)! Looks like this human has a bit of wisdom! 
Very good! Oh gollymosh, they're coming my way. Sam zips open our tent, the elegant lady crouches down and reaches out to.... what?!?!.. my Brother?!?!? Impossible! Look at me! Here I am!! Look at my sign! It says  that I am TERRIBLY cute and mischievous, and I am looking for a partner in crime. You want my brother? Who lies all day in the sun and sleeps on your bed? Yeah, that's what his sign says. No, can't be true. He's ok, I guess, nice enough, but he's such a dope.
So I reach out and gently pat her hand with my paw. No reaction. She's STILL looking at my brother, who's not paying any attention to her. I pat her again. She's still not looking at me! Desperate times  call for desperate measures. She's crouched, I wiggle my bum...focus... and jump straight in her lap. "Oh," she says, "Look at him!" She pets me, and hands me to the man without elegance. Hmmm, he sure knows how to handle a cat. I can just relax in his hands. "Eh.....Darling" he says, "I think we found him". The elegant lady gets up and looks at us. "Listen to him, he purrs like an engine." Cue my opportunity to prove a point: I purr a wee bit louder. I can see her eyes, they widen. I know she's sold. Excellent. 
Again, they are talking to Sam. It seems she feels obliged to look at other cats as well, since I'm the first one they saw. "Well," I think, "good luck with Tibbles, Clare and Mr Johnston." No, this is settled. Today I'm going home!

Indeed, not long after that, they are back to admire me. Both their eyes are big and shiny now. Sam puts me back one more time, so they can do a thing called 'paperwork' and pay the bill. I've gotten the impression there are some very strange things going on in the human world. It seems that they have to give some pieces of paper of value in exchange for my life... I mean, how can you swap something alive and terribly cute, like me, with a lifeless piece of paper? And then that thing called 'paperwork'. How does that go? I've yet to see a piece of paper do any kind of work. Everyone seems to hate it, but they just keep on about it, and doing it, anyway. 

Life as a cat though, is pretty simple really. Just give me my food, a litter box, scratch me behind my ears and rub my belly. Don't forget the adoration! Meanwhile, I pounce on everything that moves and sleep on your bed. That's as good as it gets. 

Anyway, the paperwork is done, I've been put into a cardboard box, and finally I'm going home, a new home!!"